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Wednesday, November 29, 2023

What to Do When Finding ‘The One’

Finding the right person can be a process of trial and error, believe me, I know it may take some time. Also, I know how tiring it can be to hear hundreds of relationship advice flying around here and there. Am going to be sharing my views here, as far as am concerned this is pretty basic, feel free to sue me. Please don’t though.

Who doesn’t want to find ‘the one’? that person who sees you for the real you deep down without your defenses and adores you all the same, the one with whom you live your fantasy (if they are realistic) and you are safe. The one who respects you loves you, and triggers all the butterflies your stomach can handle at the mere sight. Okay, let’s not digress am sure you get the point now don’t you? we all wish for different things though but there are a lot of similarities.

Bottom line, while quietly looking forward to meeting that person whether male or female, here are a few ideas. Both on the male and female sides, this is important.

On a general note. Here are a few tips I think may help, have seen them work for different persons with very funny scenarios I mean scenarios, where both the dos and don’t scenarios played out. The outcome was hilarious. Let’s run through these few tips.

Do’s When Finding ‘Mr. Right’, ‘Mrs. Right’ or ‘The One”

  1. Be clear about what you want: Make a list of the qualities and values that are important to you as a partner. Be quite specific, this is your list who cares, it’s what you want.
  2. Be open-minded: Don’t limit yourself to a specific type of person or rule someone out based on first impressions. For people like me, first impressions ain’t a strong suit so anyone judging me by first impressions is in for a shocker.
  3. Meet new people: Get out of your comfort zone and try new things. Join clubs or groups that interest you, attend social events, or try online dating. The One you want won’t fall outta the sky like some Indian or Korean movies will have us believe. Get outta that comfort zone.
  4. Be yourself: Be honest and authentic in your interactions with others.
  5. Be patient: Finding the right person takes time. Don’t rush into a relationship or settle for someone who isn’t a good match.
  6. Trust your instincts: If something doesn’t feel right, pay attention to your gut feelings. Those could be the difference between a swollen face, the beating of your life or a happy ever after.
  7. Communicate: openly and clearly with the people you meet. This will help you find out if they share your values and goals and whether you feel comfortable with them.

Remember that finding the right person is not a one-time event, it’s a journey. It may take some time, but if you keep an open mind and stay true to yourself, you will eventually find the right person for you.

It is also important to keep in mind that “Mr. Right” may not be perfect and may not meet all of your criteria, but if he makes you happy and you have a strong connection, he could be the right person for you.

What Not to Do When Looking for a Partner?

  • Don’t settle for less than you deserve. If you are not happy in a relationship, it’s better to end it and keep searching for someone who is a better match. Don’t put too much pressure on the relationship. Relationships should be fun and enjoyable, not stressful. Believe me, I know.
  • Don’t be too choosy. While having expectations is key, be open to the idea that the person you’re seeking may not be exactly how you imagined them. There should e priorities in that list of yours.
  • Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Be truthful about who you are and what you desire in a relationship. Being real will help you attract Mr. Right.
  • Don’t be too quick to give up. Finding ‘the one’ takes time and effort, so don’t give up if you don’t find someone right away. Keep an open mind and be patient.

In all, while you strive to be better, be yourself and don start making changes you can’t keep up with. Like pretending to know how to use fancy cutlery on a dinner date while wearing white or any other nice clothing, am sure the dress or suit is special for you to be wearing to dinner. There’s no need to start embarrassing yourself because you are trying to keep up. Love your quirks and all.

I will be sharing my experience on ‘guys you date in your twenties’, it will be out soon though so wait for it.



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